My mother was at the top of my list since she had dementia and ended-up at a hospital, February 15, 2020, from a fall at her apartment. By February 21st, she was at a skilled nursing facility for rehab, so we both suffered with the restrictions that the pandemic created in 2020. On March 13th, 2020, I was told by the facility that I should stay all day and have dinner with my Mom. Unfortunately, after that day, I would not be able to visit with her because they were locking down due to COVID-19. I didn’t know what to think and how long it would take for them to release the restriction. I figured 3 months tops, once we were all informed of the severity of the situation.
However, as you know it was much longer to my horror! My mother meant everything to me and I meant everything to her, so it was very difficult not to visit in person daily, and I was actually the furthest away from her that I had ever been. It was a 2 hour drive north to northern Virginia! Thankfully, we started FaceTime calls which was very confusing for someone with Dementia. I explained it to her, and she understood about why she had to wear a mask and why we couldn’t visit in-person. She thought everyone had gone crazy and she would describe our sessions on FaceTime as her talking to me from the TV!
Long story short, I was unable to transfer her closer to me because the nursing homes stopped allowing transfers due to the Pandemic. It took me from March 2020 to August 15th, 2021 to finally have a spot open near my home where my mother and I visited everyday and she was only 15 minutes from me. That being said, we live in strange times, and thankfully we are starting to get to some sort of normal.
Sadly, and with a very heavy heart I share with you that my Mom passed away on November 21st, 2021. I have grieved 2 husbands and a father for the last 20 years, but losing my Mother is something that is in a whole other category. I have spoken to several friends that have lost their mother in the last year, and it seems that no matter what age you are, it is the hardest loss, especially if you had a close loving relationship. Your mother is the one person you can tell anything to in this life. The one that cheers you on when nobody else does. The one that is on your side no matter what! How do you move on from such a loss? I have leaned on God for all of my losses and He will sustain me through this loss, as well, because He has provided all of my needs since I was born. I look forward to seeing my Mom again in heaven, but I vow to carry her legacy proudly into the future. I am looking forward to rising to the occasion, as my Mom watches from above with a smile. I plan to remember the good memories filled with joy and the peace of knowing that my Mom no longer has to suffer pain and the deterioration of her earthly body.
But, in all honesty, I find myself shutdown at times with the loss of my Mom and walking through a haze of what once was, not being able to speak or express my emotions. It also seems like every time I turn around another family member, friend or friend of friend has posted something on FB that they have had someone pass-on, and I am posting another “Sorry for your loss”, but in this blog I want to do more than just write sorry for your loss: I want to encourage you to stay strong and seek God for comfort and just be held by Him when you need it, and be patient with yourself and others that are grieving a loss.
I am thankful to God for giving me the strength that I’ve needed for the passed 20 Years and He will continue to sustain me for the rest of my life; the same way He was always there for my mother. Finally, I will be, as strong as my mother was in her life; with God’s help even stronger, and have a faith that moves mountains! I send prayers of comfort, peace and love to all of you that have lost your mother, father, sibling, son or daughter, relative or friend. May the peace of God be with you all!
“…and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:7, NKJV