Month: September 2020

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“Falling Apart”

One of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns is “Just Be Held”. Shortly, after being widowed for the 2nd time, it comforted me like a friend. I would like to share the lyrics with you below. I added the Casting Crowns YouTube video with lyrics: I pray they bring you comfort and God blesses you with peace when things seems to be falling apart.

One thing I have learned from my journey is that God is in control and we need to surrender to that control or suffer the consequence of being controlled by the world, the government, your boss, your job, your career, your finances, your family, your friends, addictions, illness or so many other things that lead you to an empty and unfulfilled life when you least expect it. God provides all our needs. He wants us to have a healthy, vibrant and peaceful journey in every aspect of our lives.

Just Be Held

Casting Crowns

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

Chorus

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
(Stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held
Just be held, just be held

Source: LyricFindSongwriters: Mark Hall / Matthew West / Bernie Herms

Just Be Held lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Essential Music Publishing

“But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” – MATTHEW 6:6

My blog posts in the next coming weeks will hopefully contain some resources to get you through the dark days and into the light at the end of the tunnel. Most importantly, I pray that God will continue to show up in your life when you least expect it.

I thank God for never letting me go and holding me in the worst of times and walking, dancing and even singing with me in the best of times.

“Be strong & courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.” – Isaiah 43:2

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Priorities!

It has been a while since I last blogged, but here is my update, after 5 months of blissfully being married to the love of my life. So far, it has been wonderful being with the one person that God had planned for me all along. It is amazing to find a person that is kind, patient, loves me unconditionally (Christ-Like) and handsome! One thing I have learned during this (Covid time) is more patience and the fact that I have a long way to go before I am the person that God intended me to be.

It is important that you know that I love to sing and that I did that for a good 25 years of my life as a solo singer actress and even a producer, director of my own touring production company. I retired from the entertainment industry roughly around the time of my 2nd marriage in 2013. I thought it was time to move on and search for other goals and I became tired of the struggle and the crooked paths that the entertainment industry led me to time and again. You could say that I was burned out and lost the passion I once had for performing. Moreover, my 2nd husband turned out to have addictive behaviors that I found myself trying to correct slowly, but becoming a reluctant enabler. I think this was the most difficult time of my life. God was stripping all of my childish ways to mature me into the person I am today. I have to say God Loved me and He loves all of us, but just between you and me, I did not get it. I was saved by Christ and yet, I took the wrong path and compromised my values, morals, integrity and my relationship to Christ on more than one occasion after turning my life over to Christ and that’s putting it kindly.

Let’s go back to January 1999, It was a few hours after midnight in our master bedroom and my first husband was sleeping soundly. I was having a dream and in this vivid dream I was clearly standing in the desert and Jesus (My true first husband and best friend) was present in a white robe standing on my right side in front of me. He turned around to His left and outstretched His hand and said, “Take my hand”. So, without hesitation, I reached for His hand like a child would reach for his father’s hand when crossing the street. We walked for miles and miles. However, we never got hot or tired and I felt safe, protected and a peace, love and joy that I had never felt. Eventually, we arrived at His home which for some reason I saw as an adobe style home in Arizona. It had a simple wooden door. He opened the door and led me inside. And then, He embraced me, breathed on me, filled me with the Holy Spirit and said, “I will give you the strength you need.” At the sound of His voice, I woke up and immediately stood on the side of my bed as my husband slept soundly. I looked up toward the heavens and asked , “What do I need this strength for God?” I felt like I could lift the building we were living in and felt like I was 50 feet tall. This was one of the most unusual spiritual experiences of my life. This dream was so realistic and unlike any dream I’ve ever had.

At the time, I was not going through any struggle in my life and my marriage to my husband and business partner was quite wonderful; at least it seemed that way. We worked well together and had built a loving theater family. We continued to use our talents to enrich our fans’ lives with beloved Broadway show tunes and musicals. Unfortunately, Jesus was forewarning me of things to come. After my dream, three months later in April of 1999, my first husband was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer; and well, things were never the same from that moment on. I realized that the dream with Jesus and His words of encouragement were concerning my husband’s cancer diagnosis and I remember looking up and saying, “God, this is what I need Your strength for!”

Up until that point in life, I had focused on my career and helping, supporting and encouraging others to do the same. There is nothing wrong with doing what you love passionately, but let’s just say my priorities are very different today.

“Keep the Lord your God as the center of your life” – Exodus 20:2-3